Chance and Circumstance
by Steahl
Summary: Chapter eight up Kurt/Kitty Sweet and Sad, but getting back to the good things in life. ...Please read and Review...
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men, or any reference to them, I am only making them do my bidding. Is that clear?

Authors note: This story takes place after chapter nine of Best Laid Plans…for those who don't want to go read it to figure out what's going on…Kitty was injured in a fight with Jean, Kurt was hurt later…do to a large amount of injuries and lack of cots in med-lab, they were both tucked into the same bed while unconscious.

**Chance and Circumstance**

          Kurt drifted into consciousness, a little at a time. He was warm, and safe…nothing threatened him…he was snuggled in a fluffy blanket…and he wasn't alone. He stopped breathing for a moment as this fact sunk in. His arm was curled protectively across someone's ribs, his tail wrapped around their waist.

He couldn't remember inviting anyone to his bed…and he was quite certain that he had not been drunk…although the shooting pain in his head could be attributed to such a state. So that brought up the question, who was in the bed with him?

He cracked open one eye open, bracing himself…and all he saw was a mass of curly brown hair. He watched, fascinated as his every breath seemed to give the curls a life of their own…they swayed and danced lightly over the exposed, pale throat of his companion. He traced the contours of her shoulder with his eyes as it slid into a stretched out t-shirt…and then into the blanket they shared.

His eyes strayed to the ceiling, and it wasn't his ceiling. Wasn't his room, with the movie posters and crucifix…there were clean, metal lines and soft clicking sounds. It sounded an awful lot like the med-lab…His mind made the mental connection, and he realized it was the med-lab in all it's clinical glory.

If this was med-lab, and he was holding a woman…surely an x-man…with brown hair…he closed his eyes with a sigh and breathed in the scent of her hair. Kitty, it was his katzchen, Kitty Pryde.

This was his dream, simply to hold her, and feel her breathe. To listen to her heart…he had never thought to realize it. She smelled of herbs and clean metal, and just faintly of brimstone; probably a legacy of her dragon. She was soft, and warm…and so perfect it made his heart ache. 

It was improper for him to be here…to be in the same bed with her, no matter how injured either of them might be. He gently, ever so gently began to uncurl his tail…to move his arm…taking great pains to avoid improper areas. As he moved the blanket gaped open and the chill air of the med-lab flooded in. Kitty shivered and rolled over with a sigh, snuggling herself to his chest.

Even as he froze in shock, feeling her snuggled against him, he couldn't help but wonder at how nice it felt…how beautiful she looked, even with the darkened bruises on her face, legacy of her fight with Jean. She whimpered softly in her sleep, and then started to shiver and cry silently, as if she was locked in some nightmare.

He looked down at her, shocked. Then he gave up, he couldn't leave her…not like this, when she trusted him in her sleep. He curled himself about her, offering shelter and comfort. Gradually her tears stopped and she slept deeply. He cradled her under his chin and thought…or dreamed…of a possible future with this amazing woman.

He wanted so desperately to be able to hold her under different circumstances…to have the right to. He didn't feel honorable, embracing her during this bout of weakness…but he couldn't help himself. It may be his only chance to ever do so. Lord knew that she would never look at him as anyone other than a friend. He felt self-pity welling up in his chest, tears coming to his eyes…She had such a bright future, out there... She had once told him she wanted to go to college; to live out in the normal world…someone like him could never fit into that dream. 

 He knew that he loved her, but like most of his favorite movies, it was a hopeless love; one that could never be…but was a lovely dream. How do you tell someone that you love them in the deepest depths of your heart? He couldn't, and never would. She needed no further burdens on her young soul. He would treasure this moment with her, hold it like a precious relic on nights that he was cold and disillusioned, and she would move on…free of chains, to go out and shine in the world like she deserved. 

But until then…he held her close, and dreamed…and cried into her mahogany tresses…grateful to the circumstances that allowed him to hold her close, even as it was a slow torture that made his heart break.

*   *   *   *   *

Well, this was a little outside my normal prevue…but I like how it turned out…I may write Kitty's side of this a little later…


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: There is no feasible way that I could own the X-men in their entirety. Absolutely none short of a hostile take over of Marvel…but I like 'em too much to do that…oh well…

Authors note: This story takes place after chapter nine of Best Laid Plans…for those who don't want to go read it to figure out what's going on…Kitty was injured in a fight with Jean, Kurt was hurt later…do to a large amount of injuries and lack of cots in med-lab, they were both tucked into the same bed while unconscious.

**Chance and Circumstance**

          It was dark, and she hurt…hurt so badly. It was the pain that made her wake up. Her thoughts were dislocated, jumbled…it truly felt as if she had a small incendiary grenade go off in her brain. And then she remembered…Jean. Jean gleefully tearing her mind to shreds…Jean slamming even her phased body with telekinetic fury…pain…and laughter.

          The laughter was a dim echo in her mind, sending lances of pain down her spine that reverberated through her body, making her fingers twitch and convulse in mild spasms. She had been dreaming…a burning, terrifying dream of the phoenix netted, trapped…while a shadow laughed…but behind that shadow…behind that shadow…red hair…  Another stab of pain distracted her from her thoughts, forcing her to exist in nothing but misery until it passed.

          _I wonder what she did to me? I bet I'm in med-lab…if I'm not dead. If I can open my eyes and tell them I'm awake, they'll tell me what's wrong…_

          Opening her eyes was more of a trial than she expected. They were gummy and glued shut…her rebel hands wouldn't move to help her peel back her lids. Eventually, after a few more waves of agony, one lid cracked open, allowing a dim light to filter through. Through that one released orb, she saw nothing but an expanse of grey…tears threatened to leak through from her slit eye …_Blind????...then she noticed the grey moving...or breathing actually. _

            To the best of her knowledge, blind people did not see colors breathing…which meant that her field of view was simple towards a grey…wall? With a dull whimper, she forced her eye open further. It wasn't a wall, but a t-shirt. A t-shirt that was on a very attractive body that she knew…she had seen him wearing it in the kitchen. Kurt.

          She watched him breathe, fascinated despite her distracted state, as his chest rose and fell in a steady, comforting rhythm. With some concentration, she could feel his chin on the top of her head…he was cradling her. The warm fur of his arms, soft as silk, tickled ever slightly. It was a good feeling to be here, safe…

          She had to wonder though…what was he doing here? Admittedly, her memory currently had some holes…but she was certain she would remember if Kurt had ever seen her as other than a child. She would definitely remember dating him. That meant he wasn't here for her, but for his team member, Shadowcat. He was here as a team leader offering comfort.

          Another convulsion went through her and she saw the t-shirt ball and move as her fingers twitched. She was holding his shirt in a death grip apparently. Warmth started to flow from her nose, and she watched as crimson stained his shirt, undoubtedly soaking into the fur beneath. It was more than she could bear…here she was, being held like a child, Kurt was obviously here to make sure she didn't "wander off in her injured state"…she was acting childish clutching his shirt and bleeding on him…

          She closed her eye and waited for the self-pity to pass…_I bet Kurt offered to keep an eye on me…he's caring like that, he remembers Excalibur…_

          But the truth remained clear to her, the one thing she wanted…would never be. She was a child to Kurt…dear sweet sexy Kurt had so many women lining up for his attentions… It took more than brains to attract someone like Kurt, that's why all she had ever had was a Russian that didn't even think twice about dumping her when he was in another dimension, and Wisdom…who admittedly she had loved…but wasn't exactly the greatest when it came to being a healthy relationship for her.  

          _And even he left me…admit it…you're not worth it. Not worth anything. Jean should have killed me…if this bleeding doesn't stop, she may yet…_

Death seemed so peaceful when compared to the fact that she was in pain and in bed with a man that would never be hers. The amount of blood gushing from her nose was frightful; it hadn't stopped yet, or even abated. But it didn't bother her…what bothered her was that Kurt's last memory of her would be of his friend, his teammate, the child Katherine Pryde bleeding all over him like some snot nosed infant.

          She ran through the mental checklist of her abilities…she could phase she was sure. It might kill her…but at least Kurt would be saved the memory of her growing cold in his arms. She loved him enough to give him that and more. She loved him enough to give him an open field, free of her mooning, childish crush. She even loved him enough to wish him well, to hope he had a wife eventually and children…little fuzzy children. When it came down to it, she just loved him. That's why she phased out of his warm, soft embrace after laying a gentle kiss on his chest.

          Phasing was agony. It had never hurt before, not like this. Ever nerve synapse was afire with the sensation of liquid metal. The darkness she had awoken in reached up to engulf her in a sea of razor blades and blood. She felt her body grow solid once more, on the cold floor of the med-lab. But it didn't matter…it was all so distant….so dark…

*   *   *   *   *

          He awoke once more to warmth. But it was a different warmth…sticky…he felt something brush his chest like a phantom caress…then his arms were empty. He sat up with a start and looked down at his blood soaked shirt. He could feel the fur beneath clumping into uncomfortable patches as he moved, trying to ascertain where Kitty had gone…then he saw her…on the med-lab floor in a spreading pool of blood, mouth open in a silent scream as her body twitched in an uncontrollable seizure.

          He moved so fast that he may have ported, throwing the entangling blankets across the room in his hurry to reach her side…help…

          He couldn't do much but signal for the rest of the team to come down while he cradled her head. They were coming…but they may be too late. Even as he watched, her eyes started to lose their normal sparkle…they started to go dull and flat, glassy. The tremors ceased abruptly, leaving her lying in his arms limply, breathless…

          He wouldn't let her die. 

          The rest of the team came in to see him whispering to her in German and stroking her hair. There was blood on his lips from where he had given her CPR, but she breathed. He was thanking God in German. She breathed! 

*   *   *   *   *

Hahahahahaha! Chapter two done! You like? I may write more…it is definitely amusing me… 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: Insert any and all abasements you would like to see. I am far too busy and prideful to actually write them down.

**Chance and Circumstance**

          Kurt watched as Hank expertly manipulated the scanner above the cot. The square of metal hummed and clicked to itself in a clinical manner as it scanned one Kitty Pryde of the X-men.  Even as the men waited breathlessly, Kitty started to spasm once more…her body twitching on the bed and fighting the straps that Hank had laced about her. 

          The scanner clicked off and spewed out a report…which Hank ignored as he turned to grab a syringe. "Kurt, if you would be so kind as to hold her down while I inject this…" Kurt complied, using all of his weight to pin her upper chest and hold the arm still for Hank. Almost immediately Kitty calmed, her body flopping one last time and then returning to a supine state.

          Kurt could barely stand to watch her…the dark circles under her eyes had spread, covering half her face. Her eyes were blood shot, making them almost crimson…he held back a sob as he gently stroked her hand with his tail "How bad is it mein fruend?" 

          Hank discarded the syringe and read the report, his eyes flicking over all the technical terms "…not good. It seems that not only did our now-free-of-possession telepath attack her thoughts…but bent her telekinesis upon the brain itself…I didn't believe that was possible while Kitty was phased…" He shook his head thoughtfully "She has suffered some severe nerve damage…I bet her thinking is incredibly fragmented as well…there has been some light hemorrhaging…she is in effect, suffering from several small strokes at the moment. The good news is…with her mutant metabolism and all around physical condition…the damage is already starting to be repaired. The seizures should stop by late this evening if I'm any judge of things…as for her earlier spectacle…our Kitten is not the type to give up easily. I am willing to bet that the phasing was an accident…" He pushed his glasses up and looked at the terrified Kurt "She will live Kurt. And she will recover…it will just take time." Hank patted Kurt on the shoulder and left the room.

          Kurt swallowed a lump in his throat and sank down to his knees by the bed "Oh katzchen…"

*   *   *   *   *

          She awoke once more…disoriented and hurting. But she didn't panic…someone was nearby, stroking her hand soothingly and whispering. She tried to place the voice, but the name floated just out of reach…she couldn't bring herself to believe Pete had come back…and he was the only one who had ever… She opened her eyes, they felt swollen and bruised…but she opened them anyway. Kurt was beside the bed, he seemed worried. "Wh…at's…rong…el…f…?" She had trouble moving her tongue and forming words, but she tried anyway.

          He glanced at her with his stunning yellow eyes and blinked "You're awake katzchen…" He gently stroked hair off her face. She saw his blood crusted shirt and winced "You are very hurt…I expected you to sleep longer."

          From the way she felt, she was more than just badly injured "N…not …telling …me?"

          He correctly interpreted her question and hung his head "You've been having seizures all day…bleeding…Herr Hank said you are going to recover…earlier you phased out of the bed…you scared me…you scared us all…"

          She closed her eyes and sighed mentally "Oh great. Now I've gone and hurt him…why can't I do anything right?" She thought to herself.

          He continued, oblivious to her inner monologue "Hank theorized that the seizures are also shorting your powers…he thinks that you'll have to rebuild control again, just like after the Morlock tunnels…."

          She held back tears, it had been so hard the first time…and she had hated people looking at her with pity when she dropped something…and now she would have to do it again?! She turned her head fractionally to block out the sight of Kurt as he stared at her worriedly. She didn't want him to see the shame and pain in her eyes…didn't want to see him offer comfort as a friend, or a leader…

*   *   *    *    *

          Kurt stood and fetched another blanket to tuck around Kitty when she turned her head from him…he couldn't truly blame her. She was such a strong person…being helpless never sat well with her. But he was here for her…he was just afraid it wouldn't be enough.

          He remembered the last time her powers had failed her, after the Morlock tunnels…she had worked so hard…alone. He had been too wrapped up in his own injuries and his own grief over the loss of the X-men to help her…and she had pulled through. "And why would she expect help from you after that? You let her slog through pain, misery, and even the realization of near death alone…she has learned to depend on no one…she certainly doesn't need you…" His mind jeered at him as he cleaned up the lab a bit. "And she certainly doesn't want you." Sometimes…just sometimes… he hated himself.

*   *   *   *   *

          Kitty tried to piece her thoughts together in a coherent string after facing the wall…it felt like her mind was in a million splintery pieces…all crushing into each other and separating into further shards. "I have to stay…here…in the mansion for awhile…why? Oh yes" A picture of a wedding swam into focus "The girls are getting married…I'm in the wedding…So is Kurt…"

          "Speak of the devil…" she felt him tuck a blanket securely under her chin, stroking her hair out of the way to get the edges tucked correctly…the tickle of fur on her bare shoulder distracted her for a moment…but she focused once more on her inner mindscape. "Jean attacked me…Jean was bad?" Her brow furrowed in concentration "Jean was…is bad?" She recalled several half-dreams involving Jean Grey…most of them twisted and sinister. "I don't think I like Jean anymore…" She waited for sadness to follow that realization…but there was none.

          She shrugged mentally "To all things an end…" One thing was for certain…if Jean was bad, Kitty couldn't stay here. If her current condition was anything to go by, Jean was not happy with her. What she needed now was a safe haven…and it was slowly becoming clear to her that Xavier's was no longer such a place. 

She racked her brain, her body beginning to phase and spread out minutely like fog…fog. Scotland. Muir Island. Her home away from home. Residence of her friend Rahne MacTaggert…and the late Moira as well as the place she had rebuilt her powers at last time…the pieces fell into place. She was leaving. She fell into sleep smiling.

*   *   *   *   *

Kurt drifted through the kitchen like a wraith; it was early morning, but still too early for even the likes of Ororo to be up. He bleakly filled a cup with hot water and set a tea bag to steeping. It had been a long evening, but Kitty was truly stable now…he rested his head on the cool counter top. Kitty…he could feel her withdrawing, centering herself away from everyone. She was donning her armor and preparing to do battle while he was left watching…

She was preparing herself in ways he could ever understand…and he hated himself for not being able to. All around him, the team was budding off…leaving. Logan and Jubilee were opening a secondary school after their honeymoon…Remy and Rogue were to run the family business in New Orleans…the team was dieing. And Kitty, the last bit left for him to treasure…was upstairs, injured, and he could do nothing.

          In a fit of anger he slammed his fist on the counter, making the cup jump and slosh. He glanced around guiltily and cleaned the mess "I have to keep better control than this…leadership is falling to me…but God, I have let so many down…especially those I care for…" He stood and satretched, his tail curling, kinks working themselves out. This time he would do things right…he wouldn't leave Kitty alone…not this time. Never again if he had his way…he grinned at that last thought "As if such an incredible woman would bind herself to me without even knowing my feelings…" He shook his head sadly. "As if…" It was the upcoming wedding, it was making him melancholy…outside, the sun started to stain the world in red, and he heard the faint grumbling of wedding guests waking up.

*   *   *   *   *

Chapter three! Tah-dah! Hey, and come check out a really cool X-men message board complete with RPG…the link is on my profile page!


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men…I wish I owned Kurt…*gets a glazed look*

**Chance and Circumstance**

          Kitty woke up…again. Her head didn't hurt quite as much as the last time, which was a blessing. She had been in med-lab for well over a day now, and she could tell. Her skin felt gritty and dirty, her hair hung in lank strands on the pillow…and she felt the dried crusting of blood in her nostrils. It was enough to over power any objections her body might have to moving.

          She sat up with a barely stifled groan and waited for the world to stop spinning. Once it had she could see the med-lab…and her guardian, Kurt. He was sitting in a chair next to her cot, head tipped back, exposing his interestingly contoured throat, as he slept. His tail was twitching back and forth in the sign of some inner agitation, perhaps a bad dream. By the looks of him, and his rumpled fur, he had been there all night…watching her.

          She felt the briefest stirring of a pleased blush, but ruthlessly reminded herself that in Kurt's eyes, she was not a woman, but a child...a child in need of constant watching at the moment. She shifted around slightly and felt her legs sink through bed._ Oh…shit…_It was starting already…losing control of her powers…

*   *   *   *   *

          She must have made some sound because Kurt snapped his head up and looked at her "Was machst du da liebchen?" he mumbled blearily from his chair. When she didn't answer, he grew worried and reached forward to cradle her cheek "Katzchen?" It disturbed him to see her silently start crying as his hand passed through her face.

          She looked up at him with a blue-eyed teary expression that nearly made him start sobbing "All I wanted was to get clean…" She sounded so lost…She looked back down at her phased legs, her bruised and battered face simply looking tired…worn…as if life was throwing far too much at her at once. It was such a jaded expression, and for the first time, Kurt wondered if she had phased out of his arms on purpose.

          "Katzchen…don't cry…yours truly shall go run a bath for you while you get your legs out of the bed…" He wanted nothing more than to lean forward and brush her phantom lips with his own, but instead, he walked to the bathroom and started the water running.

*   *   *   *   *

          Kitty snapped out of her morbid contemplations as Kurt offered to go run her a bath. _He truly is the sweetest man I know…She caught the goofy smile that tried to cross her features and instead concentrated on going solid…or at least more solid than she currently was._

          In the end, she ended up slipping down through the bed entirely and crawling out from under it, much to her body's protestation. She just wanted to lay curled up on the floor after that particular maneuver...but Kurt was going through the trouble of running a bath for her. Whether he was doing it out of a simple desire to help her or any other, it would be rude to simply pass out here…she giggled _that's right…crawl into a hot steamy room with the hottest person you know in order not to be rude…_

          Her limbs didn't seem to want to move though…_okay, scratch the crawling in…he can come get me…_How entirely un-romantic. If there was any sign from God that she would never date Kurt, this was it…laying on the floor and watching his ankles come into view.

*   *   *   *   *

          There is nothing more disturbing than seeing the one you love curled on the floor in pain and exhaustion…but he couldn't help but smile at her determination. He gently picked her up from the floor, carrying her gently into the bathroom. "You're bath is ready liebchen"

          She made a few half-hearted protests as she sat in his arms, and then leaned her head against his chest in complete weariness and surrender. Then it occurred to him…she would need help bathing...he felt his face flush and his heart start to race at the prospect _I should fetch one of the girls…Storm or Rogue perhaps…_Even as he thought this, his rogue body was setting her gently on the counter and taking her socks off…

          He drew in a hissing breathe as he saw the bruises and scrapes that mottled her skin like bestial patterning…great curving lines traced her ribs like giant black fingers…angry red lightning bolts that would soon fade to deep purple ran across her back. One particular scratch ran from her collar bone to her…to her…he tore his gaze away from her chest and helped her slide into the water.

*   *   *   *   *

          She nearly swallowed her tongue as Kurt started undressing her; it seemed the need to help a friend had overcome his usual gentlemanliness. She was shocked at the anger she saw smoldering in the depths of his eyes as he traced the bruises and scratches she seemed to have accumulated in her fight…his touch was gentle though as he helped her into the bath. If she had been any less tired the tickle of his fur on her bare skin would have been torturous, as it was, she simply accepted it…sliding into the hot water with a blissful sigh.

          _At least I don't mind Kurt seeing me naked…She could think of a score of other X-men she would have been uncomfortable around, but Kurt made it all seem natural. Not embarrassing, not lustful…just soothing, caring. She would have to ask him how he accomplished it someday…but for now she simply leaned into his touch as he helped her wash her hair._

*   *   *   *   *

          He thought he could handle helping Kitty with a simple bath. He had thought that…now he wasn't so sure. _I should have put bubbles in the water…yep, bubbles would help…_from where he crouched, massaging shampoo into her hair, he had a very explicit view of…

          He could feel his mind trying to check out, as well as a few other natural reactions…so he closed his eyes. _You can't have her; you can't have her…verdammt! How do I get myself into these situations?_ All told, it was a very long bath…no matter what the clock said.

          He only came back safe territory when Kitty was wrapped up in a giant towel and sitting in his arms once more as he carried her back into the med-lab…to see Hank. Sitting on a stool and looking at the two with a raised eyebrow. Kurt was thankful yet again that his fur hid his blush so well. He laid the now sleeping Kitty back on the cot and turned to face his blue furred compatriot. "She wanted a bath fruend Hank…"

          "Undoubtedly I assure you"

          Kurt drew a blanket over Kitty and excused himself, embarrassed enough for one day.

*   *   *   *   *

End of that amusingly short chapter, I would like the take the time thank everyone that has reviewed this story so far…I would do it by name, but you know who you are, and the site won't let me on to see reviews…


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: Patent pending, no guarantees, no refunds or exchanges. The product is experimental, beta tested, limited in supply, open to revision…

Author's note: If you missed the actual wedding, go read the latest chapter of Best Laid Plans to play catch up!

**Chance and Circumstance**

          Kitty sat in a chair and watched the wedding guests. The party, commonly called a wedding reception, was in full swing. People danced and cavorted wildly despite their wedding finery…and she was sitting.

          …here.

          …alone.

          It wasn't unexpected. She was, after all, an invalid. She would be the first to admit that she was having trouble staying solid…and that she hurt…badly. The pain killers had worn off some time ago.

          For safety's sake she was floating about an inch above the chair, the wide skirt of her bride's maid dress sweeping elegantly through the cushions of the folding chair and gently drifting along the ground.

          _So many of these people will be gone soon…she realized, watching them all swing before her __Remy and Rogue to New Orleans…Jubilee and Logan to Wisconsin…Hank to the University…Warren and Betsy, well, they're never here anyway…she couldn't help but think that all of this was a good thing._

          Something terrible was going to happen, and she didn't want any of her friends to be hurt. Her gut told her that a horrid event was advancing, centered on the mansion, and on Jean…Jean Grey-Summers.

          Her eyes sought out the woman she was beginning to fear and a grim expression, so out of place during the smiling festivities, settled on her face.

*    *    *    *    *

          Kurt watched Kitty as he spoke with several guests…she was isolating herself, he could feel it. She wasn't speaking, wasn't smiling…wasn't even bothering to move in the least…

          He nodded absently to whatever the person before him said and gently nibbled his lower lip in worry.

          Even as he watched, her face wrinkled in lines of pain and worry…he followed her gaze to see a stunning, flame-haired teammate…and understood his beloved katzchen's worry. For here, was a puzzle. Jean Grey was smiling…and it may simply have been his imagination, but her eyes had a steely glint, and her smile showed too much fang…

          Yes, Jean Grey bore further watching…but for now, now he could do his best to see even the ghost of a smile on Kitty Pryde's lips.

          He set his drink down and made his way towards the woman who drifted in the cascade of champagne silk like some fey creature of legend…_Or like a phantom, forever trapped…his mind whispered. "Ach, I watch too many movies…" he whispered to himself._

*    *    *    *  *

          Kitty felt a shiver going down her spine as she locked gazes with Jean Grey…they were a room apart, and yet, they managed to see only each other…

          Jean's gaze was not promising nice things, and her body remembered what it was like to anger the Pheonix. She couldn't help it…she felt the blood drain from her face, making the bruises seem to float right above her pale skin like a macabre mask. 

          Her hands clenched, contorting about thin air and she fought hard not to shake…and still Jean Grey stared at her…

          …and smiled…

          Just when Kitty felt that she had to either turn away or lose complete control, someone else intervened. She had to blink and refocus her eyes, and when she did, she caught her breath. Kurt.

          It was always Kurt nowadays… patient, caring, gentle Kurt.

          If she hadn't already loved him, she would by now.

          She looked at her savior gladly, gaining control of herself and quirking an eyebrow in question.

*   *   *   *   *

          _She's so cute when she does that…he simply watched her for a moment, then began to register her shaking, her weariness…_She shouldn't be out here…she should be resting…__

          Let it never be said that Kurt Wagner had ever ruined a lady's day. Even as he knew she needed to rest…he couldn't resist "Would the fraeulein care to dance?"

          What could one little dance hurt anyway?

*   *   *   *   *

          Kitty nearly let her jaw drop to the ground as he bowed slightly and held out his hand to her "A dance?' she echoed numbly then shook her head, accepting the hand he held out.

          Why let such a chance pass by?

*   *   *   *   *

          The world slows sometimes; marking each instant in perfect clarity, minute detail…it slowed now.

          She slid stiffly into his arms, unsure…luckily for their dance, Kurt was an expert. He wrapped one arm about her waist and held out her hand in his other…a waltz.

          Altogether perfect for the occasion.

          After a few heartbeats Kitty relaxed into the music, letting it wash away the fear, the tension…all that mattered was Kurt's arms about her and the swaying, twirling rhythm of the dance. 

          The world outside the couple blurred, stilled…they didn't matter. The laughing voices, the other dancers…none of them existed.

          Kurt tightened his arms imperceptivity...holding her closer. The clean, herbal scent of her hair wafted up through the perfumed folds of the dress like a breath of cool air after a rain. The bruises on her face were as livid as ever, but under them, she was recovering…she was Kitty Pryde. His katzchen…and she was wondrous. 

          He had always been one to appreciate beauty…but young, plain, vitally alive Kitty outshone even the most exotic person he had ever dated, Cerise. Her skin wasn't the pale ivory of an eastern bride, but the sun kissed bronze, be-freckled skin of someone who had journeyed in the world...who had lived. Here, was beauty.

*   *   *   *   *

          She had almost forgotten…how much she loved to dance. It had always been her passion. Before the X-men, before her mutation…way before saving the world and becoming a ripe, old twenty two…she had dreamed of dancing.

          And this dance…was a dream.

          How else could she describe it? Prince charming, in his full, fur-clad self had singled her out for a dance.

          The music slowed and drew to a final, lingering close…and she felt weariness come as the music left. She sagged slightly, but Kurt's arm about her waist held her upright and she gladly cradled her cheek on his shoulder, looking at him and gently smiling.

*   *   *   *   *

          Kurt felt the music leave like a physical blow shattering the distant world that he and Kitty had shared. He looked down into her eyes and sighed. She needed to rest, she was barely standing…and yet, what he had desired…he had achieved. 

          She was smiling.

          _Wars could be fought because of that smile…and he was surprised that no one else had ever realized it._

          It was that smile that made him lose the battle. She was so close…so trusting…and so perfect, leaning on his shoulder…he could think of only one action suited to the moment.

          Hesitantly, almost fearfully, he tilted his head and brushed his lips, ever so gently, against hers.

*   *   *   *   *

          Kitty felt her eyes widen in shock for a moment…and then she was lost in the brief kiss. It was chaste…and so like Kurt. She quivered, and not from fear this time…but it also had it's ill-effects.

          Her hard won concentration was shattered.

          She felt her hand and then the rest of her slowly phase through him…and she couldn't stop.

          Like a movie playing in slow motion she fell, silk dress fluttering, through the ground…and down, far below the mansion complex, into the tunnels beneath.

          Then her rogue body decided to solidify and let her sit against he rough hewn walls…and cry.

*   *   *   *   *

          Kurt barely dared to look at her as he kissed her…so it was the sliding sensation that alerted him. She was phasing…

No…running…away from him.

          He stood still, barely breathing, as she left. He stood long after she had gone, only two tears managing to track down through his fur as he committed the entire encounter to memory.

          He had scared her off…and that hurt more than he wanted to admit…but at least, at the very least…they had danced…and she had smiled.

          Finally stirring himself from his self-imposed paralysis he brushed his own lips gently…savoring even that brief touch. Around him, the wedding reception was still in full swing, but he, the consummate partier of the team…had lost the heart for it.

*   *   *   *   *

          The couple's dance did not go unnoticed by the X-men…

          Several were saddened by the out come; others crossed their fingers and hoped…

          One, smiled.

Across the room, Jean lifted a champagne glass and tilted the liquid into her mouth, knowing full well how much attention she drew with such a simple action. Beside her, Scott bristled at the intruding males, and that amused her as well…but the highlight of the whole, wretched day was discovering yet another way to exact vengeance upon one Kitty Pryde of the X-men.


	6. Chapter Six

Disclaimer: Ho, hum, this again? In case my previous disclaimers have not made it abundantly clear, I do NOT own the X-men, their likenesses or their actual actions. This is all a very nice figment of my imagination.

Author's Note: Yes, I know it's been a very long time since I updated this fic….I'm sorry, writers block hid the bloody chapter from me. I'm ashamed. I'll shoot myself now.

**Chance & Circumstance**

Sometimes all that's left is to follow your instincts. To believe that gut reaction that says "All is nae right with the world". In those cases, she always tried to look out for those she knew. Her friends, her family, even those she hadn't seen in some time.

This was one of those times.

It wasn't obvious, looking upon the scene, but one of her dearest friends had taken a blow to the heart. A deep, lingering wound. How could she tell?

Scents on the breeze.

Here at the wedding reception, it wasn't exactly easy to sort them out. Nervousness, desire, ecstatic energy, that fear of "should I ask her to dance?" all the common place things. And then…had come the bitter tang of deepest despair. A despair that had no place in the gay surroundings.

It had felt like a slow motion horror film as Rahne turned to find the source, only to have Kitty Pryde, once a team mate, and always a friend, fall slowly through the ground, tears streaming down her face. The poignant vision of champagne silk enwrapping the lamenting ghost was not lost on her, although no one else seemed to notice. Or care.

Even as she watched, the man whom had been dancing with Kitty, another friend, another team mate, Kurt…turned with a smile on his face. Perhaps it was real. Judging by his scent, it wasn't…but it was also obvious he wasn't going to do anything about the girl who had fell through the earth.

The stupid git probably thought he was being _noble_ or some such by carrying on with the party. She have time to decipher the aromas of aborted desire and despair from him, Kitty needed her, as she knew all to well what such a pained expression on that girl's face could lead to.

With a soft cry that was half-whine half-snarl, she headed to the mansion, there to access the lower levels.

_ What do you do when the world has been pulled out from under you?_ He asked himself, desperately holding on to the feeling of that kiss.

The answer was there as always. _Fulfill your duty, smile though it hurts, practice hard enough to make it hurt later._

And right now….his duty was to the wedding reception. After all, he had been the priest to give the rites. Despite the fact his heart had followed Kitty down into the stone, despite the fact that his smile felt like ground glass…

It was then he felt the light, compassionate, burning touch of a telepath he knew well. "It's alright Kurt, she's a child, a bit over whelmed by what she can't commit to or understand. Just let it go" Jean said in his ear.

Trust a telepath to twist the knife while trying to be consoling.

Trust her to be…right.

He'd…gone too far. Overstepped the bounds of friendship…and now he'd lost her.

It wasn't long before he was safely ensconced at refreshment table, drinking more alcohol than he had in years…and certainly more than was wise.

Kitty shivered against the cool stone wall and whimpered. Her head was on fire, pain arcing through her synapses, but at least she'd managed to become solid again. "Why? Why? Why?" she asked the silent walls.

It had been beautiful. Wonderful. A dream come true almost. The world had almost seemed to stop in it's tracks while she was lost in the dance with him.

Maybe that's what it was.

She'd been _happy_.

And the world couldn't have that.

…but she'd be damned if she'd roll over and give up down here.

It took an hour's solid concentration to crawl, slowly, back up through the stone to the lowest level of the mansion. An hour, when it should have taken five minutes, tops, airwalking.

And worse, she'd lost control. Again. Or maybe she'd never had it in the first place. The lovely dress hung in shreds as it stubbornly became unphased through the trip and left itself in the hearts of the stone she crept through. And it wasn't just the dress. She could every scrape and scratch as, like the dress, her skin had become solid.

Plus the pain in her head only grew worse with each torturous inch.

Perversely, it served to cut through the shroud of depression and truly piss her off. It was _her_ body. HERS. It should behave! Shouldn't it? But, like always, anger was only a momentary distraction.

How long would it take to get control back?

Would Kurt wait for her?

Laying on the floor in an old lab, Katherine Pryde laughed until she cried. She knew the answer to that question…it was no. No one waited on little old her. Ever. She'd always muddled through. They'd always been glad to see her when she came back, but life went on.

And, she couldn't blame them. Not in the least. Life was short in the X-men, so you had to live when you could.

Life was so very, very short.

Perhaps it was shock, perhaps it was just exhaustion, but she could feel the world spinning her out, pulling her apart, making her little more than a living ghost. So much worse than after the Marauders…and she felt so much older. The will to fight, keep fighting…just wasn't there.

So, the question was…did she let life make her a ghost, just to dissipate…or did she take it into her own hands now while she could?

"Here? Nae, she still went down" Rahne sighed and took the elevator down again. How far had Kitty fallen?

The slight scent that Kitty gave off when phased was pooled on the cool tile floor through almost all the sub-levels so far. She said almost because she only had one more floor to check. Then she'd have to find a way down into the Morlock tunnels themselves.

The elevator chimed softly and the wolf-girl stepped out. The scent was here…but also much stronger just down the hall. She grinned happily, she'd found her!

It was a matter of moments before she reached the door and flung it open, and the scene that met her eyes wiped the grin from Rahne's face. "Gel…what have ye doun?" she whispered.

Kitty raised hollow, haunted eyes to see her old friend, and she tried to smile. "Nothing yet…just filled the syringe…and then I phased again…I can't go solid…." And to her shame…she started crying again.

"Ach…gel…shush…listen te me, calm, it'll be aright, I promise ye" she moved swiftly across the room to squat by Katherine, knowing it was futile to hug her, but trying anyway.

"It's not alright Rahne…I just can't do this again. There's nothing worth it…"

"Donnae be such a stupid git" Rahne snapped "Yer worth it, an I'm goin te make sure ye donnae do aught regrettable."

"I'm sorry…."

"I know gel, come on, let's get ye te yer room and gather that wee lizard o' yers. Yer comin te Muir. Ye donnae have a choice"

It's like a whirlwind had swept in through shuttered windows, sweeping her away, just to strap her safely into a jet with 'Heed curled in her lap and a bag by her feet.

Rahne was different from the girl she remembered, no doubt the death of her adopted mom and running the Muir facility had seen to that. She hadn't been able to get a word in edge wise…and even more importantly, she hadn't been able to say no.

So here she was, off to the place she could call home as long as she needed.

Maybe, just maybe there was a God still looking out for her.

Kurt sighed and knocked tiredly on Kitty's door. The reception was over, although the party would no doubt continue in several private venues. "Katzchen? Please…I want to apologize…" he called through the door.

He…didn't know what else to do. There was a pain in his chest where his heart should be, his lungs were full of iced glass, and that found him here, leaning against a closed door.

He couldn't hear her inside. Was she alright? Was she hurt? She'd looked tired before the dance…in a it of worry, he turned the knob, finding that the door was not locked, and the room beyond was not occupied.

There was a note laid carefully on the neatly made bed, and with a sense of dread he found himself reaching to pick it up.

It was…short.

And it was for him.

From Kitty.

"I'm sorry Kurt. I have to leave"

That's' all that was scrawled on the small sheet of paper that numbly fluttered from Kurt's hand. He'd well and truly lost her. With a strangled sob, he sat on her bed and then found himself curled among the sheets that still held her scent.

She was gone…


	7. Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men even after all these years. I weep.

Note: For all the readers who I've left hanging, I apologize. I'm going to try to get this fic done for you all.

**Chance & Circumstance**

Kurt felt the jolt of landing in his bones. He was a man in peak physical condition (if one discounted the broken arm he had in a sling), but he was simply tired. Worn out. _Exhausted_. He'd been an X-man for years and never been so tired, but the last several years simply hadn't been kind ones. He often thought, looking back, that the last happy moment in the New York school had been the double wedding. Yes, despite the personal heartbreak then it had been the last time he'd seen so many smiles.

Things after that had simply gone...bad. He sighed and leaned back in the pilot's seat, feeling the tension that he'd carried in his shoulders for years knot and writhe as he remembered those years. Logan and Jubilee opening a new, healthy school for mutants. A school that didn't field a strike team. Remy and Rogue disappearing into the New Orleans family business, leaving their communicators behind. Kitty...God Kitty he hadn't heard from since he chased her off. Scott's wasting away. And Jean...

...Jean...

For all he was a gentlemen and a gentle man, he believed he truly hated Jean by this point. She'd crawled into their minds. All of the X-team still at the mansion. Slowly, carefully, she'd twisted all of them around in nightmares and needs until no one knew what was right and what was real anymore. Even him. The days he woke up with Jean in his bed after her husband's death were nightmarish ones. He couldn't remember, even now, what those nights had been like but the idea of them made his skin crawl and his fur stand on end. Now, with it all over he suspected that those nights...someone else had been in his body.

They knew now that Jean had been carrying the Shadow King around. Being possessed would certainly account for the revulsion. And the memory loss. "Gott." Now...now that it was over, now that he was in a place far away from New York, some place safe...now he could shake. He could shake and gasp and not stop. The world was dark outside the jet window and rain smacked down with a sound that almost hid his gasping breaths...

...almost. "Are ye coumin' out any time soon?" The woman standing out on the small landing pad didn't seem to mind the lashing rain that was soaking through her lab coat. The years that had been so harsh in America had been far kinder in Scotland, and even though Muir had disassociated itself from the X-men, it was still open as a safe haven to friends. Rahne was perfectly content to let him sit in the jet if he needed to, but the guest quarters were a lot warmer.

Kurt opened his eyes, not quite sure when he closed them, and tried to find some tiny reserve of energy left in his body. He needed to unstrap and get out of the jet. Unstrap. Get out...

...and all over again his bones ached. At least he was moving though. Inelegant and stumbling, off balance due to the arm strapped to his chest, but moving. His arm had been snapped in the final fight against Jean and her Shadow King right before Logan had managed to get claws into the red-head's brain. Jubilee had read them all the riot act for endangering her husband when he was retired from the X-men but...they'd needed the edge that Logan provided against the sheer evil they'd gone up against. "I'm coming Rahne. Thank you," he sighed as he stumbled down the ramp and onto the ground of Muir island.

"Doun thank me Kurt. Ye'll earn yer keep once yer able te." Rahne threw an arm arund Kurt's waist, half-carrying him to the brightly lit door.

"Yes." He agreed wearily. "I will." After all, he had no intention of ever returning to America, or the X-men. The dream was well and truly dead for him. He might go back to England eventually, see if Excalibur was still possible, but t hat was a thought for later. Later when he remembered how to dream without nightmares.

"I'm sure ye'll get terrible tales about me from the others that live here. A drivin, demandin woman I am." Rahne chuckled. "O'course, the folk that'll be tellin ye these things are away for now, but they'll catch up with ye no doubt."

Kitty stared blankly at the man in front of her while Lockheed chortled rather evilly on her shoulder. "You want me to do what now?" She sounded like the soul of patience as she asked, arms crossed over her chest and a screwdriver tucked behind her ear.

"Move back to England." Pete Wisdom echoed her pose, leaning against the wall across from the stubborn woman. "We need you here a lot and the commute's a real bitch."

Kitty found herself rolling her eyes at such a weak excuse. Really, he could do better than that. If the snort was anything to go by, Lockheed thought the same. "You wouldn't need me near as much if you'd stop letting your team trash all the computers Wisdom."

"It was an accident this time, I swear."

"Sure it was. A more secure man would admit he missed me." Kitty snorted and pushed away from the wall. "That's long over Wisdom."

"Jesus Christ girl!" Pete snarled, "I'm just saying living on that misty little island isn't good for you, not that I want back in your pants!" Not that he didn't in truth, she'd grown up in the years since he'd left her, but she really was an asset to his little team. He had yet to find another gear head that he got along with.

"I _like_ Muir." And unlike everywhere else on earth, her friends there _never_ let her down. Of course, she didn't have a steady lover or much of a life, but she did have friends and peace of mind. After years rebuilding control of her phasing abilities again, well, that counted for a lot. "You're lucky I give you a discount on my consulting fees Wisdom. I've got a soft spot for super-teams."

"Discount my ass. Hell of a paycheck you're earning Pryde."

"Yeah, well, it funds all the pretty toys I have at Muir." She grinned, knowing exactly what he was thinking when she mentioned 'toys'. One of the fun things about dealing with him now was that shared history that let her tease him. Mercilessly. "That gene sequencer I saved up for is really useful, and next I have my eye on a new atmosphere chamber. We've only got the one you see, and with mutants every day manifesting in strange and interesting ways well..."

"I get it, I get it." Pete grumbled and held up his hands, signaling his defeat. "At least let me treat you to dinner before you're hopping a boat back to that damn island."

Kitty glanced at Lockheed, judging his mood, then grinned. "Make it Indian and you're on. Throw in a a bar afterward and I'll even throw in a free firewall on your equipment. Should cut down on the viruses your team downloads with those ripped movies."

"You're a hard one Pryde." Pete grinned and held open the door, bowing her ahead of him. "Deal."

Author's note: Okay, yes, I did do an extreme time skip. I might write the story of what happened with Jean at some later date, but for now I'm focusing on Kitty and Kurt. Apologies again, I hope you enjoyed!


	8. Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: Me no own X-men. Or any title related to X-men that I might borrow characters from. In fact, I own very little beyond my computer and my comic books so NO SUING.

**Chance & Circumstance**

Kurt had a lovely room as far as rooms went at Muir. He wasn't in the 'patient' building, though even he admitted he probably should have been. No, instead he was in the family building, a smaller, cozier place. His room was just down the hall from Rahne's, and across from the room belonging to the mysteriously absent team of workers. He hadn't seen much of his current abode when he came in, exhausted as he was he hadn't even bothered with lights, just stumbled in and collapsed onto the bed the moment his knees located that blessed piece of furniture. If there was anything to say about the room, well, the bed was _wonderful._

And far better than a medical cot would have been.

Of course he still managed to nearly tie himself in a knot fighting with the blankets later, and his tail wormed it's way under the edge of the mattress so that it was pinched uncomfortably several times in the night...but that was just how he slept these days, it wasn't the bed's fault at all. When he'd managed to wake himself entirely, screaming from some fragmented nightmare or another, Rahne had been there. She had taken one look at the clock, a pointed look that made him want to squirm and apologize for his noise, then swept forward to inject him with something. He hadn't even managed to ask what it was by the time he was falling back on the bed and into the first decent sleep he'd had in a long time.

It was voices that woke him later. A lot later. Judging by the numb patches in his tail where the mattress had cut off circulation, he'd been out for hours, if not a full day. He _hated_ his tail going numb, so it was a grumpy Kurt, with the spade of his tail carefully cradled in his hands, that shuffled out of his bedroom. The voices were from down the hall, one of them Rahne's for sure, but the bathroom was of far more interest than mysterious people...

…at least until he could get his poor tail into working condition and his own needs seen to.

The computer chime woke her. As much as she would have loved to just ignore it and go back to sleep, well, the chime was making Lockheed whimper. If she could be said to have a soft spot for _anyone_ in this world it was her dragon. It helped that he truly was pathetic when he was hung over, pathetic enough to tear her away from the comfy nest her bed in the hotel had become in order to save him some pain. "Hello?" She muttered to the screen as she hit the button, desperately trying to scrub sleep from her eyes.

"An guid morn te ye." Rahne chuckled from her end of the view screen. "Sleepin in?"

Kitty paused rather inelegantly, one finger still poking at her eye as she squinted at the time. Somehow 10 am had snuck up on her and that meant..."Wisdom is going to give me hell." Not that he'd actually be in until far later in the day, but he had contracted her and he wouldn't let a chance to rag on her slide. Especially given that she'd left him at the third bar when some of his spook friends had wanted him to brood with them.

Where by brood they really meant 'talk to Wisdom about secret stuff without a non-team member listening in'. She probably could have sat with them considering she still knew most of Wisdom's intelligence crowd and talked with them often, but it seemed impolite. And, frankly, she didn't need to know now. She wasn't out saving the world anymore, or at least not without being asked in as a support to the London team.

"I'm jes callin te let ye know that our new guest arrived safe an soun."

Kitty wracked her brain, trying to remember who exactly was suppose to be coming in. A new patient? Probably, but she could think of who. Hopefully not someone too troubling because Rahne had been tired recently. And hopefully not a child, children were incredibly sad to see in Muir. They never came because they wanted to visit. They came because their mutations were killing them and it got bad. Very bad. "Right. I should be home to help in a few days? Week at the most depending on how bad things have gotten with the computer system here in my absence."

"They do seem te mess them up more than a bit." Rahne sighed, suspecting, no doubt, that Wisdom put them to it so they had an excuse to call Kitty in more often. "He best be payin well te keep ye there."

"Oh, more than well enough." She assured with a grin. "I think a good chunk of their budget goes to Muir now."

"Guid. If he starts spendin too much he'll get reigned in."

Kitty laughed and fumbled for a hair tie. "Someone reign in Wisdom? You're joking." Really, the guy was a lot of things, but easy to control wasn't one of them. "Alright, how do I look? Professional enough to scream at London mutants for breaking my computers?"

Rahne blinked and looked Kitty over before smirking a little. "Where's yer pants gone?"

She felt herself going beat red at the question, having utterly forgotten her state of undress when climbing out of bed. "Let's just pretend I didn't ask anything about appearance yet." she muttered, glancing over her shoulder. "They...might be in the bathroom? I may have lost them."

"Lost. In yer hotel room? How much sleep did ye actually get?"

"Maybe an hour." She admitted sheepishly.

"Gel, take a shower. Yer already late, may as well make it later."

"I will, I will." Kitty was still blushing when she closed her computer, ending the 'phonecall'. Forget Wisdom, Rahne was going to give her hell. She glanced over at the body still cocooned in blankets on her bed. Where had she picked him up again? One pub or another, after Lockheed had gotten his claws on the bourbon. He had a name, she knew that much, but she'd be damned if she could recall it.

In the light of day he wasn't much to look at. Burly rather than fit, and a bit too fond of his hearty meals if appearances were anything to go by. His single redeeming quality was he'd been reaming one of his friends for deriding mutants. Anyone willing to stand up for mutants in a crowded, jeering pub was worth getting to know. He'd probably just been drunk off his ass but at least it was a friendly, open minded kind of drunk.

And hell, she'd been lonely. That happened sometimes.

Her quick shower didn't wake him in the least, though Lockheed stumbled in to get rinsed. The warm water sometimes helped his hangovers, though by the look of his drooping wings and squinched eyes, that was wishful thinking today. "You can stay here you know." She pointed out gently when she scooped him up in a towel. She probably deserved the annoyed snort, after all, he didn't care for being left behind in the best of times, and he seemed to think anytime Wisdom was around Kitty needed a draconic chaperone.

Or maybe he was just inordinately fond of pranking the man. She couldn't blame him, Wisdom was a hell of a lot of fun to mess with.

The man in her bed still hadn't stirred when she was dressed and ready to go out the door, Lockheed stretched contentedly along her shoulders and lifted his head to stare at the sleeping lump. What to do with him? She didn't actually want to talk to him, one night stands weren't suppose to end in friends or even in phone numbers exchanged. Hell, she didn't even want to be reminded of his name. She grabbed her tools and fidgeted a moment before shrugging. Housekeeping would be around to tidy the hotel room in a bit, they could wake him.

Rahne sighed and stared at the blank screen for a moment before letting a smirk onto her face. Kitty didn't have any idea who had come to stay with them, which was good because Rahne hadn't told her any names when she mentioned it a week ago. It had been five years since she dragged Kitty to Muir island, and they'd been good years all told, but Kitty needed to stop they 'random men while in London' thing. It wasn't healthy. Hopefully seeing Kurt would shock her out of that rut and get her to choose a man to settle down with. Closure was suppose to help people move on in life right?

Not that either Kitty or Kurt would forgive her if they found out her motives but...well, it was for their own good really.

She smoothed her hair a moment then turned to Kurt with a smile when he came out of the bathroom. "Ach, it'll be a few more days yet afor my team coumes home. It's jes you an me for a bit. Let's get food in ye."


End file.
